Dim Lights, Thick Smoke (And Loud, Loud Music)

Greetings, y'all! 👋😄

How 'bout ya? 😄 Welcome to March (that seems to be on a greased rail)! 

I realize the thumbnail for this post will be a blurry train, which doesn't go with the title, but oh, well. 😄

I've started and deleted this post a couple times, trying to figure out how to talk about how playing music and singing has been such an important part of my life, and how much I really miss doing it. Maybe this will be a "third time's the charm" effort, but I'll still probably end up sounding like one of those "woo-woo", breathy, "oh-so-spiritual", "it's an experience" people (which, honestly, I kinda am on some things). 😄 Anyway...

I've pretty much immersed myself in music for the past month, and during that time, while all those memories came flooding back, I realized that I haven't really listened to much music for pleasure in a long time. It's been probably 5 or 6 years now since I've sat with headphones on my ears and just filled my head with songs. That's really kind of sad, thinking about it. I almost always have a song running through my mind, but it's not the same as listening.

The other thing I haven't done much of is singing. Or thinking about songs I'd like to sing. Or figuring out arrangements for songs I'd like to sing. Between life happenings and covid, the part of me that loves to do those things got pushed back into the corner to gather dust. I'd like to get that part of my life back.

Me & Jeff LeBlanc in 2016 at Artmosphere in Lafayette, LA. The song was "Summertime", and it was a moment. I also had hair then. 😉

I'm planning to pull out my songbook and work up some arrangements, and maybe do a little home recording. I don't have anything fancy to work with, but I'll make do with what I have. 😊

Note: I don't have an old-school tape recorder or cassettes. I do have a smartphone and a recording app, however. 😉

I've spent a lot of time in "Bayou Self", both before and after covid, and while it helps with my creativity, like when I'm working on arrangements or learning new songs, there's something missing when it comes to performing. What's missing is the collaboration that happens when musicians get together and join their separate parts into something beautiful that reaches out and touches the listeners. 

This may sound contradictory coming from a singer, but I'm really not one who wants all the attention on myself. What really lights my fire and gives me the motivation to give the best of what I have to give is performing with others. I've had the opportunity to sit in with top-notch musicians, and I can only describe the experience as magical. 

I could go on and on, waxing poetic about the wonderment of making music with likeminded people, but I'll spare you, dear reader. 😄 What I will say is that it's been a dream of mine, and it took me a long time to get past my fears and find my voice. I got a small taste, and it was even more wonderful than I had imagined it could be. The only real comparison I have is finding the love of your life and feeling complete. Making music with others is a notch lower than that. 😉 

I was almost in reach of achieving my dream, but evidently the time wasn't right (or the circumstances weren't right), because when I reached out, the answer was "No."

I'd be lying if I said I didn't take it personally at the time. I've since come to understand that it wasn't totally about my abilities (or any perceived lack thereof), but it still stings a little. I did pull back quite a bit, and of course the covid lockdowns put a huge damper on live music for a while, and when things started opening back up, I had other things going on in my life that kept me away from the scene. 

I haven't given up on my dream, although I have adjusted my horizons a bit. I don't need or want fame and fortune (and let's be real, here - I'm not young any more), just a few musicians who want to play and sing some songs together and make musical magic happen. ♫💖♫

Be blessed, and be a blessing! ✌💓🙏😊

Megan